By Tiffany Walker
Is it Valentine’s Day and you haven’t a Valentine to meet the day’s criteria? Well, maybe you should re-think your technique at attracting others. Consider the idea of the old saying: “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Well, what if you applied that to men (or whatever sex you’re after,) and dress for the men you want and not for the boys you’ve been getting? Sounds a bit obvious, but have you really ever sat down and thought about why you aren’t with the love of your life, or moreover why you attract what you do? My belief is that if you start dressing the part, the part will come to you.
I stumbled upon this concept one evening when I made plans to go out with some other single girlfriends. I wasn’t sure what bars we were going to hit, but I knew I wanted to feel a certain way when I left the house and that was my focus. The only outfit that called to me was this 50’s skirt, perfect black heels with ribbons, a wife beater, a little black ribbon as a choker and fake diamond earrings. I know, a bit retro and dressy, but when I put it all on I felt sexy and confident, and well, the way I wanted to look. Little did I know the destination that was decided upon was a bit of an Irish dive bar, and my friends were all in jeans. Yes, I had apprehension over not really matching my friends’ wardrobe, and not necessarily looking like the average bar hopping kind of girl, but I kept remembering that my outfit matched who I feel I am deep down when I shut out the society chatter of what is “cool,” and the outfit embodied who I would like to be more often. If I was dressier then everyone else then screw it—I felt perfect for me. With this confidence in mind, I forgot that I was wearing something “wrong,” and just sort of went with it.
The evening had a slow start with me standing in a sea of neo-hippie-grunge Hollywood-ites, but lightning struck when I was approached by someone that didn’t look like anyone else there… and this is what led me to my belief. He actually looked like my other half—appearance wise. And although he was on the young side, he was smart, sophisticated and witty like I like ‘em. The kicker is that it was my skirt that encouraged him to come over and make it the focus of his pick-up line! When I took a moment to reflect--most commonly known as a trip to the bathroom-- I was thinking about how I was actually feeling bad just moments before about how none of the neo-hippie-grunge wannabes wanted to talk to me—how stupid could I be??? I didn’t even want a neo-hippie-grunge boy, I want what I actually ended up attracting…and this is something that doesn’t normally happen. I normally would’ve shown up in the cliché trendy bar clothing, and end up having to weed out boys through meaningless, exhausting chit-chat just to get to the point where we both realize we aren’t a match. This approach of “dressing for the job you want,” so to speak, cuts to the chase. And there you have it. A new way of going out: Dress for that person you actually WANT to talk to.
When I left that evening I definitely took stock of my new findings. It may sound easy, but dressing the part requires multiple layers of thought than just throwing on clothes that make you look hot. The basic idea is that when you dress to go out you must make some decisions about who you are deep down, of course what clothes you feel most comfortable in and really make you feel like “you,” and lastly, you also want to think about what person you envision on your arm when you are this more focused you. This may take time before you get the hang of really exuding who you are and what you really want for yourself through your clothes, and thus attract that, but it will be well worth the time.
PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED: IN THE SCENE MAGAZINE
Ms. Walker, if what you say is true, then my life is a mess. I always, always wear Brooks Brothers suits—my job requires it. And I have not been in a bar or restaurant here in wicked Los Angeles after dark in the last decade without being clad in a Brooks Brothers suit or a tuxedo. And yes, the tuxedo is a Brooks Brothers tuxedo. Of course, Ms. Walker, you are talking about picking up neo-hippie-grunge wannabes and such social primitives are not drawn to a sack style Brooks Brothers three button dude. But I have tip for button down establishment types who can’t change into your wife beater, Ms. Walker, before they stroke out for a drink and a bite to eat—cowboy boots. Yeah—cowboy boots. Go to your local Boot Barn and buy some cowboy boots. Take them to your local highly trained shoe shine professional and ask him to shine ‘em up; leave a big tip—20 per cent minimum. Wear them thar boots with your Brooks Brothers suit, button down collar, regimental stripe tie (okay if your are Democrat you can wear a paisley or club tie) and otherwise dour conservative look and you will find women and yes, some men, just wanting to chat you up about what a pleasant evening it is. Don’t ask me to explain it but I swear its true—Brooks Brother’s and cowboy boots. And by the way under that button down shirt, wear a wife beater for me. And thank you, Ms. Walker, for this opportunity to address the greater non-neo-hippie-grunge wannabe community, who if given their druthers, would prefer to hang with people like you.
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